When you think of the term ADHD, what do you think? I used to think of a little kid who was unable to sit still or be quiet. They were rambunctious, interrupted conversations and quite frankly were a bit annoying. What I didn’t know then is that ADHD can look very different for different people, and ADHD in women can often go unnoticed.

It wasn’t until I had a child of my own, who very obviously had ADHD that I really started to learn more about it. As many of us know, ADHD can be genetic and usually is. Personally, I didn’t think his ADHD came from my side of the family, mainly because I didn’t exhibit many of those “behaviors.” Or so I thought…

Live & Learn

My ongoing mental health struggles have led me on an educational journey like you wouldn’t believe. Google doesn’t know everything and I certainly don’t suggest believing everything you read. But for me, the older I get, the more passionate I become about solving problems. If something is bothering me or someone I love, 90% of the time I’ve found enough information to make it better in one way or another.

 

It can be pretty mind-blowing when we stumble upon information that we never would have considered to be a factor in our situation.

This leads me to ADHD in adult women and how it may not show up in a stereotypical fashion. More importantly, it can drastically impact our mental health in other ways. Undiagnosed ADHD has no doubt impacted my bouts of depression, anxiety, and overall quality of life.

I often think of what might have been. If we were aware of the differences in ADHD between genders and different age groups, would some of my days have been better? If I had the awareness and knew what symptoms to look for, could it have made me a happier person? Could I have been more successful and found a career that was perfect for me?

My parents had no knowledge of ADHD, nor did most at the time. They didn’t have the resources or conversation back then to know what to look for, especially when it came to a female.

So how can ADHD show up as a young girl?

I remember missing a lot of school in elementary, middle, and especially high school. I could never really make sense of it at the time. Why didn’t I want to go to school? I would do anything to get out of going to school. My poor parents. It was a BATTLE. In elementary and middle school I dealt with some bullying, but in high school, there wasn’t anyone specific that was keeping me from showing up… besides me.

Perhaps that traditional learning environment just wasn’t for me. Maybe the responsibilities were too much for my brain in how they were presented. Maybe I didn’t have the resources around me to notice or help. Truth be told, I’m sure these all played a factor in school and do for many people with ADHD.

There are multiple types of ADHD and one of them that hit home for me is what they call internal hyperactivity. You can do your own research of course but for me, some of the ways this showed up for me are listed below.

• A social girl that likes to chat

• Word vomit or impulsive talking

• Trouble focusing and having too many “thoughts”

• Makes friends easily but has trouble keeping them

• Dark bouts of self-harming

• Exaggerated Insecurity and fear of rejection

• Depression and Anxiety

This certainly is not an exhaustive list. You’ll be surprised how it may have shown up for you as a little girl or could be showing up for your daughter now. Knowledge is power my friends and the more you know, the more you can help.

ADHD in Women – How Does it Show Up?

If you didn’t think you had any symptoms in adolescence, did you know that ADHD in adult women is often first diagnosed in middle-aged women? On top of that, pregnancy can alter and change our hormones resulting in the onset of adult ADHD even if you never had any of the symptoms beforehand.

ADHD is OFTEN accompanied by things like anxiety, depression, and moodiness. So if you struggle with any of these things, I recommend you investigate the possibility of ADHD. Especially if you feel like you can never quite “get it right.” That could mean quality of life, productivity, medications, etc. I’d hate for you to miss out on a clue that could help you in the long run.

So back to it. Adult women may notice the following…

• Their life feels chaotic and overwhelming more often than not

• Always stressed and feel both physically and mentally exhausted

• Low self-esteem

• Spending too much time on tasks and jumping from one to another without finishing.

• Irritability and frustration

• Mood swings

• Feel misunderstood but unsure of why

• Trouble with interrupting others

• Super sensitive

• Procrastination and trouble getting started

I remember thinking that many of these “symptoms” overlap with other diagnoses. I think that like so many other medical circumstances, this makes it hard to actually get to the root of the problem. On top of that, the lists above certainly don’t account for all possible symptoms since they show up so differently.

ADHD in Women – Not a One Size Fits All

It’s not simple and honestly, it can be downright frustrating to figure out. How often someone has a symptom can fluctuate too. One might suffer with mood swings “once in a while” while others might only really experience this at more hormonal times.

The point is if you’re feeling “off” and question if you are an adult woman with ADHD, it’s worth looking into. Personally, I remember it clicking at one point. Why did I not consider this before? It actually made a whole lot of sense. I’m 100% sure that the reason for the delay is our idea of ADHD, (hyper, can’t sit still or focus), and education on the subject. We now have so much more access to information and it’s a beautiful thing.

In conclusion, mental health issues are much easier to manage when we have curiosity. Especially those issues that interfere with our happiness. What do you think? Do any of these traits hit home for you?

Remember friends, just as the great Ice Cube once said… Chickity Check yo’ self before you wreck yo’ self.