If you’re searching for a purpose in life, I highly recommend giving that shit up. Because to be honest, finding “purpose” is overrated. As a society, there is SO MUCH pressure to have the perfect career, home, family, appearance, etc. We think that there is some magical purpose that’s going to give us all of that and more. But in reality, that’s simply not the case. Now I’m not saying we should go through life aimlessly without a goal or aspirations, I’m saying we need to change our perspective on what purpose means and what success looks like.
So What Exactly is “Purpose”?
Purpose is usually one specific thing you’re supposed to be doing in life. It could be helping people, fighting for something you’re passionate about, or creating beauty in the lives of others. Certainly, these are just examples and there are a million other life “purposes” that someone may be searching for, or even believe they’ve found. In short, we often think of a purpose as something we are meant to do throughout our lives.
Why Finding Purpose is Overrated
It Causes Unnecessary Pressure
If you’re someone who knew from a young age that you wanted to be a doctor, went to school and now own a private practice with a long list of patients, then great! For the rest of us, it probably wasn’t and isn’t that simple. We may change our minds after high school, take a break from college or tech school, or maybe even drop out altogether. The point is, we shouldn’t be worrying about it either way. The unnecessary pressure we put on ourselves to find our purpose does nothing but confuse us.
It often means we rush into things and find ourselves questioning if we made the right decision years down the road. It also leaves us feeling inadequate when comparing ourselves to others. At the end of the day, an ongoing search for purpose can cause low self-esteem, depression and suck the joy out of your life.
Finding One Purpose and Being Tied to it Doesn’t Help You Grow
Guess what? It’s possible to have multiple “purposes.” Multiple things can light you up and give you joy at once. Searching endlessly for one thing just takes the enjoyment out of whatever else you’re dabbling in if it isn’t 100% perfect. Expecting it to be perfect prevents us from trying something new in its entirety. I know this because I have done it plenty of times. The result? I end up looking back on things I tried and wonder if I even gave it enough of a chance in the first place.
Finding Purpose and Feeling Happy are Not The Same Thing
Just because we think we found our purpose, doesn’t mean we will feel blissfully happy at all times doing it. Finding purpose is overrated because isn’t being happy what we all actually want? And we ultimately think that finding our purpose will make us happy. But we can choose happiness right now. We don’t need to wait for some life purpose to enjoy what we’re doing today. Remove the expectation of what a purpose will do for you and you’ll instantly feel happier in the present.
When We Change, So Can Our Purpose
Meaning, again, there probably isn’t just one defined purpose for you. Most of us will evolve and become different people at different times in our lives. What feels purposeful as a 23-year-old may not look the same at 54. So think about that. You can waste so much time and energy looking for one single life purpose and it may not even align with you forever.
Finding Your Purpose is Overrated Because We’re Often Trying to Find it to Impress Other People
Going back to the pressure we put on ourselves… you can’t tell me honestly that the endless searching you may be doing is 100% for you. It’s very often because someone else thinks your path should go a certain way or that you chose the wrong one altogether. That’s just not fair. Only you know what’s best for you and makes you happy. It often won’t match what your parents, spouse, or friends think you should be doing. Although it’s much easier said than done, be sure that you’re not missing any “purposes” entirely because of someone else’s opinions.
It’s The Process That Counts
I think the one thing that really rings true to all of the points above is that it’s a process. Life is a journey full of dips and turns and totally unexpected shit. Do what feels good in the moment. Don’t worry about what others think of you and where you’re at. Do what works best for you and enjoy it now because it might very well pass or only stick around in different ways. Release the pressure!
Purpose and The Big Picture
Perhaps our purpose is to just be. Just live. Perhaps that looks like something new every day, month, or year if it brings you pure bliss. If you don’t feel you have a purpose and have been endlessly searching for it, try to reframe the topic. I know I spent too much time beating myself up because I didn’t have one holy grail purpose that made perfect sense. I felt shameful because other people made it seem important to find something that fits my life perfectly. That shame is a total waste of time and didn’t bring me any closer to finding a damn thing.
So if you’re feeling a little lost, give yourself some grace. Finding purpose is overrated, but finding multiple purposes is not. Do yourself a favor and become less rigid. Enjoy the ride and choose several different hobbies, careers, friend groups, etc. Make your life a life worth living with or without a defined purpose, because, at the end of the day, we all deserve that.
Remember friends, just as the great Ice Cube once said… Chickity Check yo’ self before you wreck yo’ self.